


Promises to Keep

by Avistella



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Flirtationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Zen towards reader's and friend's flirtationship, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-08-31 19:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8590111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella
Summary: You have your first major fight with Zen. Overcome with emotion, you decide that the two of you need some space from each other.





	1. Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been able to find any reader inserts that satisfy me with the prompt of Zen and reader arguing, so I wanted to make my own. I'd love to hear your opinions on the characterizations.

You knew that there existed no relationship with no fights or arguments between the persons involved. Humans are imperfect beings, and each individual held their own opinions and beliefs on several topics, sometimes different from others and sometimes the same. It made sense that arguments would arise in a relationship, but that was just how relationships were. It was how relationships and people as a whole grow; learning, improving, and overcoming all sorts of trials that relationships brought. Your relationship with Zen (official boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months now) was no different. You two would sometimes fight and argue against one another, but they were usually small, petty things that would always get resolved within the day with an apology from both parties followed by a reassuring embrace and reaffirmation of your feelings towards one another. So when you had your first major fight with Zen, you didn't know how to react.

Zen had been coming home late in the night the past few days. You knew he wasn't doing anything bad like fooling around with other women or drinking out late; you had faith in him that he wasn't that type of person. It was just that his work was demanding much more from him as the days passed by. You understood that; you had seen just how hard Zen had been working for the both of you, and you wanted to support him. You tried to make things easier for him at home since you knew he would come home tired, but you couldn't help but start to feel neglected as Zen started to focus more on his work than anything else.

You told him how you felt one night; it was troubling you, and you didn't want to keep it a secret from the actor. When the two of you first sat down to discuss on whether or not you should start living together with Zen, the both of you agreed that you would like a relationship with no secrets held from one another. After all, communication was key. Zen listened to you attentively, and he apologized the moment you voiced your concerns. He asked you to give him just a bit more time with his work, just until the production finally started to come together and have the work load die down. The young man promised to give you as much attention as possible, and you believed him to uphold it. You in turn promised to wait patiently for him and to offer whatever support you can, and the two of you sealed your promises with a kiss.

That conversation happened a few months ago, and while two of you kept up your ends of your respective promises, it was starting to take its toll on you. The physical exhaustion from staying up for Zen and managing things alone in the house in addition to your job started to catch up with your emotional exhaustion of not having had enough affection given to you. You didn't want to be greedy with Zen's love; he had already given you so much, but you felt like you were significantly lacking in his love and attention as of late. It didn't help that the two of you would make plans which ended up raising your hopes, only to have Zen cancel them last minute. Of course, those cancellations weren't intentional and he would always try to make it up to you, but there was only so much you could take.

You woke up one morning, excited to finally get to spend some much needed time alone with Zen. The two of you were looking forward to this rare day off of his for a long time now, with him promising to shower you with all sorts of affection that he acknowledged he hasn't been giving you enough of lately. So when you walked into the kitchen to prepare yourself breakfast only to find Zen all dressed to leave for work, you felt your heart sink. _No, no, no, no_. You tried to fight back the painful feeling of having your hopes shattered again when Zen looked at you with an apologetic expression once he saw you freeze in your steps.

"...Are you going somewhere?" you asked, still pathetically hoping that maybe he wasn't dressed to go out for work at all, that there was another reason for it. Perhaps he was just going out for a quick grocery run or something.

"I got called in for work," Zen answered guiltily, and your shoulders sagged. You suddenly felt very exhausted despite the fact that you actually had a good night's sleep last night for once. The actor explained, "They wanted to make a few changes to the script and want me to come in to go over them."

"It was supposed to be your day off..." you murmured. The statement was directed more towards yourself rather than at the young man before you, but he still went and apologized.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but this is important," Zen tried to reason with you.

You snapped your head up, unable to properly keep your emotions in check. You were far too weary and broken-hearted to even try, your rationality crumbling away. "And what about me? Am _I_ —are _we_ not important to you?"

"Babe, of course you're important to me," Zen replied, trying to keep his tone level, all the while feeling offended at your accusation. "Our relationship is important to me, but this work is—"

"I don't want to hear it!" you interrupted him. How many times have you heard that line? ...Far too many to count. "I have heard that _exact_ same thing over and over again already. I've had enough! ... _Please_!"

Your patience was running thin, and so was Zen's. This production was one of the bigger ones for him to be in and meant a whole lot to him. He worked diligently to meet up to everyone's expectations, and the stress was starting to get to him. The fact that you were now yelling at him didn't help with the stress, and he slowly started to lose his temper alongside yours. He hated seeing you upset, but there was nothing he could do about it, and that aggravated him further. "Please don't make me choose between work and you."

"I'm not making you choose anything!"

"You _are_!" Zen insisted, the volume of his voice increasing with time. "You know how important my job is to me, and yet all you seem to care about is us spending time together! My life can't revolve around just you alone!"

You took a step back, almost as though his words had stabbed you because you had poured so much time and effort into trying to support Zen and this strenuous new role of his that you couldn't help but feel insulted at how wrong his accusation was. It was true that you cared about your time spent together, but you cared about Zen and his own happiness too. You knew this was his passion, and you cheered him on for that. The fact that he wasn't able to see that almost made you want to cry, but you didn't. You decided to be stubborn instead, not knowing how else to deal with everything you've been feeling towards the situation that had dragged on for far too long. " _Excuse you_?! I—"

Zen didn't give you a chance to argue further because he continued, "I have to go; I don't have time for this."

"Of course you don't," you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest to hopefully relieve that tug of guilt you felt when your tone came out much more spiteful than intended. "You _never_ have time. Not even for yourself! And even when you have free time, all you do asides from work is exercise _exactly_ for work and nothing else!"

"That's because I have to take care of this perfect body—"

You didn't bother stopping yourself from rolling your eyes. Zen's narcissisim was always a problem, and while you did learn to find it endearing on some occassions, whenever it was brought up in times like these, you couldn't help but find it quite aggravating. The two of you exchanged even more arguments, but you were too emotional to really properly keep track of what was being said. Petty accusations were flung around, along with a few curses here and there. The two of you never threw insults directed towards the other as a whole though. Even when arguing, you and Zen knew better. The conversation was dragging on for far too long and getting nowhere when all of a sudden—

" _Just leave me alone!_ " Zen shouted, slamming his hand on the table.

You flinched and closed your mouth shut. That was the first time Zen raised his volume like that at you, and you were stunned silent. The room suddenly became even more tense in the silence, save for both yours and Zen's heaving breaths now that the two of you stopped trying to outyell the other in hopes of trying to get your respective points across.

"...Okay," you whispered, a stark contrast from your previous shouting which had started to affect your throat. You figured it was starting to affect Zen's throat too, and even if you were upset at him, it wasn't like you wished him to be ill. If anything else, it would affect his career which you assumed would just bring another argument, and you didn't want that.

"What?" Zen was surprised, obviously not expecting that kind of response from you.

You took a shaky breath and continued, "I said okay. I'll give you space. I think I need it too, to be honest. ...I'll stay over at a friend's house for now."

The young man looked at you, not quite knowing what to say. When he said to leave him alone, he merely said it out of impulse. He didn't expect you to actually go and offer to stay at a friend's house. Zen felt immense guilt. He knew how hard you've been working to accomodate him and his job; the amount of work you've put into the relationship was the same, if not _more_ than the amount he put into his job. Even now, you still tried to give him what he wanted, even if he didn't really mean those words. But his pride got in the way, and he swallowed his words. He was late for work anyways, the whole reason for this argument.

"...Alright," Zen answered, his voice at a more reasonable volume now but sounding so defeated. "I have to go."

"Yeah, okay. ...I love you," you sighed, pulling out a chair to sit on, feeling like your legs would betray you soon. Zen's eyes softened slightly at your words. Even when upset at him, you would still always tell him you loved him before he left for work. You had explained it to him once that if something ever happened to him when he was away, you didn't want the last words you have said to him be something you would regret.

"I love you too," Zen murmured. He agreed with your reasoning and followed suit. Normally, he would've given you a small kiss, but since the two of you were still upset at one another, he opted against it. He left the house, hesitating just the slightest bit, giving you one last furtive glance as he shut the door behind him, leaving you all alone once again.


	2. Reflection: His Side

"I'm home," Zen called out, heaving a tired sigh as he took off his shoes and coat at the doorway. It was a long day at work; the argument that the two of you had in the morning had weighed heavily on his mind throughout the day, affecting his performance at rehearsal. When Zen was greeted with nothing but silence, he frowned. Were you still upset at him?

"Babe?" Zen called out again, feet padding against the floor as he looked around the house for you. When you were nowhere to be found, he started to panic. Were you so upset that you ran away? The thought terrified him, but that was when Zen remembered you saying—no, you were _offering_ —that you would be staying over at a friend's house. He didn't expect you to leave within the same day though, and the young man flinched when he remembered the hurt that flashed through your face when he yelled at you to leave him alone.

Zen angrily ran a hand through his hair as his expression contorted to one of disgust towards himself. He was supposed to be your gentle prince charming, keeping you safe from all harm, and yet he went and said all those things. In the end, he was the one that ended up hurting you. He didn't hurt you _physically_ (he would never forgive himself nor believe himself worthy of you if he ever raised a fist at you), but it was plainly obvious now that he hurt you far worse than he thought. " _Damn it_..."

The actor headed towards the kitchen, deciding to drink a glass of water for now. In truth, he wanted to drink some of his favourite beer instead to drown away the pain and frustration, but he remembered how worried you would always get towards him and his health like that, so he decided against it for now. He didn't need any more reasons to have you upset at him. As Zen walked over, passing by the dining table, he noticed a note that you left behind. Curious, he picked it up, eyes scanning over your rushed handwriting.

" _I won't apologize for this morning. I want you to understand just how upset I am right now. I want the both of us to talk through this, but I think we're both too tired and upset at one another to do so without getting into another argument.  
The friend I'm staying with lives about 20 minutes away from here. I'll be staying with him until we've both calmed down; I don't know how long it will take, but there should be enough food in the house for you to last. Your job is important to you, right? You did say so after all. So stay healthy._"

Zen couldn't help but chuckle at your note. He was certain that the last part of your note was supposed to be sarcastic and perhaps full of contempt as those were the words that repeatedly hurt you he realized, but even so, a part of you still considered for his well-being. He felt conflicted that you were staying over at a guy's house, but it seemed like you trusted him. As soon as Zen thought that, he felt his heart sink. The fact that there was another man he didn't know that you trusted enough to go to for comfort when Zen himself wasn't available made him feel lonely and perhaps a tad bit jealous. The young man shook the thoughts away; he had no right to feel that way.

Glancing towards the clock, Zen realized just how late it was. This was usually the time he came home from work ever since he took up his current role, but it was only now did he realize just how late it truly was. And yet, you were always there ready to greet him and ask about how his day went, even when it looked like all you wanted to do was retire to bed and sleep. Guilt started to settle within Zen's heart as he realized just how much he took you and your presence for granted. The young man took out his phone, pulling up your contact info and sent a quick text. " _Did you get to your friend's house okay?_ "

Even if he did feel bad about the fight, he couldn't find it in himself to apologize. His stubborn pride got in the way, plus he was certain that you wouldn't come back anyways. It's not like Zen magically reformed his ways, so hoping to avoid another confrontation of the issue that still hasn't been fixed, he decided to give you the space that you decided upon. Even if he was the one that asked for it, you did say that you needed the space too, after all.

A few seconds later, Zen's phone vibrated with your curt response to his previous text: " _Yes._ "

A wry smile made its way onto the young man's lips. Judging by your text, you were definitely still upset, but for good reason. Obviously you were drained and missing his attention, but despite all that, Zen still raised his voice towards you and told you to leave him alone. Those words echoed in his mind as he tried to recall what he was feeling at the time. He was frustrated, he had been sleeping less the past few days, his stress levels were at an all-time high, and he hasn't been able to recharge himself. But then you started yelling at him, and the first thing Zen thought was to go on the defensive, but you wouldn't relent, so he decided to switch tactics and go to offense instead.

He thought he had a good grasp on his emotions, but apparently he was wrong. It was so easy for him to switch through personas and emotions with his roles, but whenever he stood before you, it was as though his walls crumbled and he would always lay bare everything he was feeling. You responded in kind, and it was because of that trust and communication that the relationship was going so well. However, this time, the emotions were far too overwhelming, and the communication that was so well-maintained became misconstrused.

As Zen continued to replay the morning's argument in his mind, wondering where it all went wrong, his phone buzzed to life once more, but instead of the usual one buzz, this was continuous. Somebody was calling him. Thinking it was you, he quickly went to check who it was. His heart sank when he was met with Seven's contact information instead.

"Hey Seven," Zen answered the call, not bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Hey," the hacker greeted, "are you and your girlfriend, uh, y'know, okay?"

"...Why are you asking?"

Zen heard Seven sigh on the other side of the phone, "She posted a picture to her social media of what she captioned 'comfort food'. The background didn't look like your place, so I called her to check what was up. She gave me the gist of it and said she'll be fine, but..."

"But what?" Zen urged the male, needing to know how you were doing since Zen himself was barely holding himself together after your fight.

Another sigh was heard, and Zen bit his lip when he heard Seven's usual playful tone turn to one of seriousness. "Zen, I have never heard her cry like that before. Even when her favourite character dies or something, I've never heard her cry that hard. I was just barely able to understand what she was saying. Whatever it was that happened between you two, it really upset her."

"That's..." Zen didn't know what to say.

"Listen," Seven continued when he realized the actor wasn't going to say anything further, "I know it's not really my place to say this, but judging from the current state she's in, this was probably the best decision for you two."

"...Is she doing okay now?"

"I think so," Seven answered, giving a light laugh before adding, "she just sent me a photo of a potato chip that was shaped like a cat."

Zen resisted the urge to sneeze when he heard the word 'cat'. Once he composed himself, he continued, "As long as she's fine, then..."

"Except she's really not," the hacker interrupted. "She's probably just trying really hard to forget what happened or pretending she's fine so that none of us worry. Whatever it is, I hope the two of you make up soon."

"Yeah, alright. Thanks," Zen gave a curt and annoyed farewell, ending the call before Seven could even finish saying goodbye.

Zen haphazardly threw his phone onto his couch, deciding to take a shower before heading off to bed. As he headed towards the shower, he noticed that the laundry had piled up. _"Ah, she usually does the laundry at this time,"_ Zen finds himself remembering your schedule, and he flinches once more when he realizes that you're not there anymore.

Before he realizes it, Zen has already finished showering and doing his usual nighttime routine and is already in bed. He can't remember doing much of anthing; everything seemed like a blur as he went through his action almost automatically. The young man turns to his side to face the spot where you would usually be sleeping, and he places a hand there. It's cold, he notes, and he tightly grabs hold of the sheets because he has nothing else to hold.

Slowly, Zen starts to take deep breaths as he feels tears start to form. It hasn't even been a full day yet, but the young man already misses you. He misses your warmth...comfort... _everything_. Zen had lived by himself for a long time now; he thought he knew what loneliness felt like, but he was wrong. He had no idea what it truly was like until he met you and (temporarily, he has to remind himself) lost you.

His deep breaths start to falter as he rolls over to your side. Your pillows still smell like you, and he breathes the scent in, hoping to find some kind of comfort from it, but it only makes the aching pain in his heart worse. He regrets it. He doesn't regret taking the role, no, but he regrets how he allowed it to blind him from who he decided to do it for in the first place. Zen worked hard for you. For the _both of you_. He wanted you to live a life of comfort like a princess, but he needed to work for it. However, he completely forgot that you had _other_ needs too. Not just monetary ones.

"I messed up," he murmurs to himself. He's no longer ashamed to admit it, but by now, it's already too late, he thinks. Slowly, he closes his eyes and tries to go to sleep. At least in his dreams, he can still be with you.


	3. Reflection: Your Side

The moment you hear that all too familiar click of the door once Zen leaves, you break down. The tears you were holding back finally start flowing freely down your cheeks, and you bite back the frustrated scream in the back of your throat. You slam your hand on the table, similar to what Zen did just a while ago, and you cry harder as you start clawing at your clothes and tugging at your hair because you need to hold onto _something_. _Anything_. But you can't, because the person you would always hold onto whenever you felt this upset just left through the door, leaving you all alone _again_.

You want to blame Zen, thinking it'll help alleviate the pain and frustration somehow, but you can't blame him. You knew how worn out the actor's been since he took up this new role, and that's exactly why you felt like you needed to voice your concerns again because it was obvious that he needed the break. It wasn't his fault he snapped at you, you understood that. You were the one to snap at him first, even if you only had good intentions for him, so now you were left with frustration towards Zen, his new role, _and_ towards yourself.

You remain sitting at the dining table, allowing yourself a few more minutes to just let everything out before calming down enough to take out your phone to text your friend. _"Had a fight with my boyfriend. Mind if I stay over for a while?"_

You let out a shaky breath as you stand up from the chair, heading into the shared bedroom to gather clothes and other things you'll need as you wait for your friend's response. Even if they wouldn't be available for you to stay over, you figured you could at least stay at a hotel or something (hopefully with Jumin's help though since you were a bit lacking on funds for such impulsive decisions).

Thankfully, your friend responded with the answer you wanted to hear: _"Of course qt3.14. I'll start preparing the place for you."_

You smiled, relieved to find a comforting ally in your time of need, before sending another text, this time more casual and light-hearted: _"Thanks. Want me to buy you anything?"_

_"How 'bout some meat buns? 'Course if you can't, just your buns alone should suffice. (;"_

You gave an inelegant snort. It felt nice being able to joke around like this. It gave you momentary reprieve. _"Sorry, my delicious buns are reserved for someone else."_

The friendly banter continued for a bit longer before your friend asked if you needed to be picked up. You took a moment to think of yourself and your current state, saying that just a bit more time alone would be nice to have and that you'll be fine on your own. Your friend didn't push the issue, much to your relief, and as soon as you sent a text stating the estimated time of your arrival, you started to pack your bag.

You didn't want to bring too much, so you only brought the necessities and a few extra clothes, just in case. As you were fishing through the closet, you found one of Zen's old shirts. It didn't fit him anymore, so he gave it to you since you said you enjoyed how the fabric felt. It was comfy and quickly became one of your favourites. You didn't think it'd be a good idea to bring a reminder of the person you were upset at, but before you could even think much of it, the shirt was already packed in with all the others.

You slung the bag over your shoulder and started to head to the door before realizing you never told Zen _when_ exactly you'd be leaving. You didn't want him to freak out upon returning to an empty home, especially when you considered how he tended to overreact about you and your safety (not that you blamed him; you still get nightmares every now and then about that hacker incident), so you decided to leave a note. Momentarily placing the bag down beside the door, you looked around for a paper and pen, hastily writing out your note and leaving it on the dining table for Zen to find later in the night. You gave a wry smile at the thought, knowing by now he would be coming home late, but you didn't want to dwell on the thought for any longer, locking the door behind you and leaving the house without glancing back.

* * *

"Holy crap, you look _horrible_ ," was the first thing you were greeted with once the door to your friend's apartment was opened. You didn't bother spending too much time to fix yourself up when you left, but you didn't think you looked _that_ bad.

You rolled your eyes, "Thanks, Hyeon. That's _exactly_ what every girl wants to hear."

Your friend, Hyeon, gave a cheeky grin before opening the door more for you to enter. You made your way over to the living room, having visited his place many times before that you knew where everything was. Even the arrangement of furniture and decorations were the exact same as the last time you visited. Hyeon told you to make yourself comfortable as he put your bag in his room where he said you'd be sleeping. You protested, saying you were fine on the floor or couch, but he was having none of it.

"O fair maiden, why dost thou refuse my kindness so?" Hyeon spoke dramatically, getting down on one knee and placing an arm over his eyes for even more flair. Right, you almost forgot that your friend was in the musical theatre business too and enjoyed being over the top like this. When you didn't respond with your usual quip and banter, obviously still upset with what happened with you and your boyfriend, Hyeon offered a sympathetic smile instead, standing up and patting your head. "You okay, princess?"

For a moment, you were reminded of Zen, and instantly, you broke down again, crying into Hyeon's shirt. He was surprised at first but quickly regained himself so that he could comfort you, cooing into your ear that everything would be alright. That this was just a small bump in your relationship and that things will resolve themselves soon. You could only wish and hope that he was right.

"So what happened?" Hyeon finally asks once you've calmed down, so you explain the situation as best as you can to him, and he furrows his eyebrows in between a mix of both frustration and concern. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," you respond immediately, and you almost sound offended that somebody would ever accuse such a thing from Zen, "he would never hurt me. I trust him and feel safe around him. It's just...that was the first time he ever actually raised his voice at me like that, and I... I didn't know what to do. I-I guess I panicked and just told him I'd be staying at your place because I didn't want to upset him any further, but even so, I still—"

Hyeon smiled softly at you as you started crying again. "You know what this calls for?" he asks, and you shake your head, unable to think of a proper answer given your current mental state. "Comfort food!"

At that, you give a small smile and decide to fall back into your usual joking self with your friend, "We're comforting _me_ , so no, you're not having my buns if that's what you're planning."

"Gosh darn it!" Hyeon easily picks up on your shift in attitude and follows you with ease, replying with his usual dramatic flair.

"Dork."

* * *

A few days passed by, and you decided that you really needed a break from everything due to how tired you were. Your manager was more than understanding when you asked for a short vacation, especially since they've seen first-hand how dead and tired you looked. You went out every once in a while just to get some fresh air, but no matter what you did, you still felt bitter and hurt from your fight with Zen.

"...Was I wrong? Is it my fault?" you asked Hyeon one day, and he immediately stopped what he was doing to give you his full attention.

He shook his head, "It's nobody's fault. From what you told me, the both of you were just tired and stressed. Sometimes, people just snap; it's human nature."

You open your mouth to speak, but a buzz from your phone interrupts you. Curious, you look at who it is that's trying to contact you, and your eyes widen. It's Zen. It was a short and simple text: _"I miss you."_ Your heart clenches because you miss him too, but you still can't find it in yourself to forgive him. He misses you? After all those times you've missed him while he was busy working, he only voices _now_ that he misses you? Anger starts to rise in your chest, burying that melancholic and guilty feeling from before. Your brows knit together as you internally debate as to whether or not you should reply.

_"I'm still mad at you,"_ you decided to send.

Not even a minute later did your phone vibrate again to life with the words, _"I'm sorry."_

You bit your lip. You wanted to accept his apology and just let this whole situation just fade away and move on, but your heart won't allow it. You still haven't recovered from the loss of your boyfriend's love and attention that he started directing towards his job rather than you. You gave so much of your time and energy for Zen and his new role, you needed a moment for yourself to just recharge. In the end, you decide against sending Zen another text. If he misses you, then he can continue to miss you and feel what you felt. You realize you're acting petty and perhaps childish, but this was what you decided, and you were going to stick with it.

Even so, you still ache with the desire to see Zen again and feel his warmth. You want to be in his arms once more, to have him shower you with kisses as he traces the sides of your body with his hands, admiring everything about you. You want to hear his laughter whenever you tell him a funny joke or something good that happened during your day. You want to see how he lovingly stares at you when he thinks you're not looking, along with his flustered expression when he accidentally does make eye contact with you.

You falter with your decision to make Zen suffer the same pain and loneliness that you felt, because you're suffering from this distance too. You know Zen is hurting—his text is proof of that—and you're hurting too. You bite your lower lip as you feel a headache start to form as you tried to think of what the best course of action would be.

"I _guess_ I can try talking to him again tomorrow, just to see where we can go from here..." you decide, and Hyeon nods at you, supporting your decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really love Hyeon, ahah. I hope you guys like him too.  
> Also, I decided to add in one other chapter as the next one got too long, so I decided to split it.


	4. Confrontation

You woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, something you haven't felt in what seemed like a _very_ long while. Slowly, you roll yourself over to retrieve your phone that you decided to keep under the pillow. Rubbing the remaining sleep away from your eyes, you checked the time and groaned. You've slept through most of the morning; it was already almost noon. You get up from bed, walking to the bathroom to clean yourself up. As soon as you're ready, you head into the living room to greet Hyeon as per your usual routine ever since you started crashing at his place, except he's nowhere to be found. Curious, you walk around the small apartment until you find a small note left on the fridge door.

_"If Sleeping Beauty needs me, I'll be at work. Some changes were made to the script and they wanna go over it. My phone's kinda dead atm, so if you absolutely need me, I'll be at this theatre..."_

Sure enough, after briefly glancing around, attached to the energy socket was Hyeon's charging phone. You pressed the button to check on the progress and laughed when it was still at 3%; you forgot how slow his battery charged, and you shook your head. You _did_ remind him after all; it was his fault for not listening.

Feeling rather hungry after having just woken up, you open up the fridge to see what you can eat when you come face-to-face with the containers that held Hyeon's lunch. You sighed, making a mental note to scold Hyeon later for being so forgetful. Taking the containers out from the fridge, you debate with yourself as to whether or not you should head over to his workplace to give it to him. You highly doubted he had the money to buy himself a proper lunch, plus you were in the mood to go out today anyways to mentally prepare yourself for the talk you were planning to have with Zen later.

You remembered that you still haven't texted Zen that you were willing to talk now, so you sent him a quick text before you ended up forgetting again. When you didn't get a reply, you huffed but realized that maybe he was just busy with work. You shrugged (this wasn't the first time it happened, after all), thinking he'll see your text eventually as you started to change into an outfit that was more presentable, figuring it would be okay to make yourself look even cuter than usual since it's been a while since you went all out with your appearance.

* * *

Zen let out a tired grunt as he sat down on the edge of the stage, thankful to finally get a break from this particular dance number. He just wasn't _getting it_ , still far too distracted by the fight the two of you had days ago. The actor pulls out his phone to check if he received any new messages, and his eyes widened when he saw your name show up. Immediately, his fingers flew to open your message, eyes furiously scanning each letter. He realized the text was sent quite a while ago, and he curses that he made you wait _again_ as he types up his response.

Just as he sends the text, somebody is calling his name, and it's one of the other actors. He had a minor role in the play, but he held passion, and Zen held a certain respect for that. The other actor rubs the back of his neck as he asks, "I'm having a bit of difficulty with this dance number. Do you think you could help, like give tips or something? I-If it's not too much trouble, I mean!"

Zen beams at the idea of somebody coming to him for help, and he nods enthusiastically. "Sure, of course!"

However, before the conversation could continue, a new voice rings out, "Hey, Hyeon! Your friend's here to see you!"

Curious, Zen looks to see who this friend is and his eyes widen when he's greeted by the sight of your form glancing at your phone with a difficult expression to read before you bring your gaze upwards, making eye contact with him. The actor freezes on the spot, confused as to what you were doing here before the young man who was previously asking him for his help runs towards you and almost tackles you to the ground.

"Holy sh—Hyeon! Be careful!" you scold, and Zen doesn't know how he feels. It's been so long since he's last heard your voice, and the first thing he hears is you yelling out another man's name, even if it _does_ sound similar to his real one.

You steady yourself, having recovered from the shock of coming across Zen here. You knew the possibility existed, but it wasn't like you were expecting it either, and you're reminded of what a small world this actually was. You make eye contact with Zen again, and his expression is asking you so many questions at once, an underlying pain resting beneath each one before you tear your gaze away. You came here for a reason, and you wanted to address that reason first before anything else.

"You forgot your lunch," you stated simply, handing over to Hyeon the bag you were carrying.

"Thanks cutie pie," the young actor grins as he nuzzles his cheek against yours, "you're just like an old housewife."

"Call me old again," you urged Hyeon with a sharp glint in your eyes. "I _dare_ you."

"It was a compliment," Hyeon raises his hands in mock surrender after he places his lunch in a safe spot.

You roll your eyes, "Being called old is not a compliment."

"Oh, obviously. I meant the housewife part— _ow_!" you jab your friend at his side with your elbow, and he retaliates by tickling your sides. You move to run away from him, but he's fast and he already has his arms tightly wound around your waist to prevent you from escaping, blowing raspberries onto your cheeks and neck while you beg and scream for him to stop, your laughter ringing loudly around the stage. It was a lot of fun before you hear somebody clear their throat, and immediately Hyeon stops as you look up to see that Zen is standing in front of you two. He calls you by your name, and you almost want to run into his arms because you've missed his voice. You've missed _him_.

"Zen," you decide to acknowledge his presence with his name instead, still stubbornly refusing to show any kind of surrender in your fight. You did say you wanted to talk, but that was all— _just_ talk.

The air is tense and awkward between you two, uncertain as to what you both should do from here before Hyeon asks, "You two know each other?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, Zen's my boyfrie— _ah?!_ Hyeon?!" your answer is cut short as you're suddenly being pulled away from the white-haired actor.

"Why didn't you tell me that _the_ Zen was your boyfriend?!" Hyeon whispers harshly, sounding offended as though you had kept a horrible secret away from him.

"Why are we whispering?" you use the same volume as Hyeon before adding, "wait, what? _The_ Zen?"

Hyeon looks exasperated as he tries to explain, "He's like, one of my biggest role models _ever_."

"Well, I didn't know," you shrug, trying to remember all your past conversations with Hyeon about your boyfriend. You could've sworn you've mentioned Zen's name at least once. To your surprise, you realized that you never actually did tell him, and you wondered why or how that even happened.

"I feel hurt. Betrayed," Hyeon says, but you know he's acting. However, you've seen this scene play out many times before, and immediately you move to stop him from going any further.

"Hyeon—" you try to warn him, but he's already moving towards center stage where Zen still is, confused and lost and hurt as he watches the exchange between you and your friend.

"Betrayed by my own blood!" Hyeon yells dramatically to no one in particular, and you would have been embarrassed had you not already gotten used to this. Well, it probably helped that you were in a theatre where everybody was probably used to this too.

You start heading to where Hyeon is and sigh, "Keep that up and I'll gag you."

Hyeon laughs, "Kinky— _ow_!!"

You glare with a flustered blush towards Hyeon who's rubbing his arm that you punched, "You deserved that."

"Well worth it though," the young man replies with a cheeky grin.

Before the two of you can go back to your bantering, an all too familiar hand roughly grabs your wrist, and you're reminded of Zen's presence again. He looks at you with an expression you can't quite read before he starts dragging you away to somewhere more private. "We need to talk," Zen sounds tense and demanding, and as you look back, all you see is Hyeon flash you a thumbs up to which you respond with the middle finger.

* * *

Zen looks around the hallway to make sure nobody else is around before he lets go of your wrist. He realizes that he must have held a far too tight grip on you because the moment he lets go, you gingerly go to rub your wrist with your other hand. Guilt flashes through his expression as he brings his head down and mutters an apology.

"It's fine," you respond, but you're not sure if you actually believe those words yourself.

"...Was that your friend you're staying with?" Zen finally asks after a moment of silence.

You nod, "Yes."

"Sure looks more like a friend to me," Zen responds with an accusatory tone that he didn't quite intend, and you feel your anger start to rise.

"Flirtationship," you answer tensely as you will yourself to remain calm. You need to be civil and composed if you wanted to get through this conversation properly.

"Huh?"

You lean back against the wall as you explain, "It's just a flirtationship, nothing more. Why? Are you jealous?" The moment the words leave your mouth, you inwardly cringe. So much for being civil.

"I—" Zen starts, tightening his jaw before he concedes, "...Maybe."

"What?" you're surprised at his response, and the actor immediately looks away, avoiding eye contact.

"You look...really happy with him. The last time I saw you, you looked so broken and worn, and it just doesn't sit well with me. The fact that there's another man who can make you smile and laugh like that after I hurt you so much that you would want to leave me just—" Zen cuts himself off to take a deep breath. He steps closer and closer to you, prompting you to lean back even more against the wall. The actor slowly lifts his arms and places them on both sides of you, palms flat against the wall for support.

"You were the one that told me to leave you alone," you reminded Zen firmly, looking up at him.

The young man bites his lower lip at your words, nodding solemnly, " _God_ , I—"

Before Zen could continue however, the others are calling for him to resume practice, and Zen realizes that he probably chose a really bad time for this. He glances towards you with an apologetic expression, and his heart almost shatters at the look you give him. "You should go. This production's important to you, right? We can talk later."

You push against Zen's chest to leave, but he grabs your shoulders, preventing you from doing so. He looks at you with pleading eyes, "Stay. Please. Stay until practice is over. I...I don't want to watch you leave me again."

"...Fine," your stubborness crumbles underneath his piercing gaze. "We'll talk then."

Zen offers you a grateful smile and he leans down to kiss you, but stops himself. He wants to kiss you so badly, to show you just how much he missed and loves you, but decides against it, thinking it would be inappropriate, considering the situation. So instead, he leans down enough to rest his forehead against yours and stares into your eyes that are on the verge of tearing up again.

"Thank you," he whispers before straightening himself up and walking back to the stage, his steps faltering just the slightest bit.


	5. Apology

Zen had managed to convince his director to let you stay for the remainder of the rehearsal, so you were now sitting in one of the front row seats, your attention shifting between watching the actors and playing on your phone. Despite how you currently felt towards Zen since the start of your argument, you still couldn't help but be drawn to watch his performance. It was so passionate and full of life; it reminded you of one of the reasons why you had fallen in love with him in the first place. While rehearsing, Zen would frequently glance over to you. In the times you _did_ catch him, he seemed to always have this glowing smile on his face, as though he was happy and in disbelief that you were really here.

Just as you decided to go back to watching the rehearsal after having grown bored with your phone, you made eye-contact with Hyeon. He waved enthusiastically to you, and you waved back; however, while you were waving, Zen had purposefully and almost dramatically walked in between your line of vision, and your hand immediately went to cover your mouth to suppress your laugh. 

" _Zen is way too cute when he's jealous. And so obvious too,_ " you thought to yourself, and before you knew it, you were also waving to Zen. You saw his eyes light up and wave back to you just as, if not _more_ enthusiastically as Hyeon did moments ago. Your lips tugged upwards into a smile. You've missed this.

The rehearsal dragged on late into the evening before the crew decided it was time to wrap it up for the day. Everybody started cleaning up and saying their farewells, the cast and crew slowly trickling out. You remained in your seat, twiddling your thumbs as you waited for Zen. You had told Hyeon to go ahead of you as you had things to discuss with your boyfriend, and Hyeon was more than happy to oblige. The young man gave you a quick hug, wishing you a good luck and other reassurances before leaving as well.

"Hey," Zen's voice called out to you, and he extended his hand out for you. Hesitatingly, you grabbed hold of it, noting the slight tremble from it, and he helped you up from your seat. You moved to let go, but Zen kept his hand firmly wrapped around yours. Curious, you look up at him, and your heart nearly bursts from all the emotions Zen holds in his eyes as he looks at you.

"Zen..." you start, but he immediately shushes you with a finger to your lips.

He offers a small smile before he asks, "Walk with me?"

You nod slowly, "Okay."

The air between you two is both awkward and tense as neither of you say a word, too occupied with your thoughts as you tried to figure out what to say. There were so many words left unsaid since the start of this whole fight, and so many more words left to say to end it. Both you and Zen have had more than enough time to reflect, and you were both ready to try to move forward from this.

Zen gently leads you out of the building, and you shiver from how cold it's gotten now that the sun has already started to set. The actor immediately takes notice, and he quickly shrugs off his signature white coat and drapes it over your shoulders before grabbing hold of your hand again, almost as though he was afraid you would slip away from him if he didn't hold onto you.

"Thanks," you mumble as you remember all those other times Zen had shown considerable kindness to you. The more you remember, the more your pettiness and bitterness that festered since your argument starts to crumble away.

"You look cute," the actor comments, looking straight ahead of him rather than at you, and you wish he would turn to face you because it's been way too long since the two of you had a nice and easy moment like this. "You're wearing the hair accessory I bought you for your birthday..."

You bring your hand up to lightly touch the hair accessory in question, and you smile, looking down at the ground as you shamelessly admit, "It's my favourite one...exactly because it was from you."

You feel Zen tighten his grip on your hand, and when you direct your attention back towards the young man, you notice that the tips of his ears have reddened and had his free hand over his mouth as he tried to hide his far too obvious stupid grin. Just that reaction alone is enough to chase away all your remaining doubts that Zen was still angry at you. You squeeze the actor's hand back, prompting him to look at you, and you offer him an apologetic look. The two of you have stopped walking, but you don't bother to pay attention to your surroundings because right now, all you're focused on is Zen. The man you love and continue to love despite his imperfections. The man you can't bear to stay away from too long, even if you are angry with him, because in the end, you know that he will continue to fill you with his undying love just like all those times before.

"I'm sorry," Zen blurts out, and for a second, you blink in confusion, so engrossed in how wonderful and _right_ it felt being by his side like this that you almost forgot how you even got here in the first place. The actor continues, "I'm sorry for what I said that day. I don't know what I was thinking..."

You shake your head, "I'm sorry too...for snapping at you. I should have been more considerate."

"No, no," Zen responds, cupping your face in his hands and forcing you to look at him, "you have been considerate _more_ than enough times for me. It's my fault for taking you and your kindness for granted."

"And it's my fault for being selfish when you've been working so hard for us," you add.

"You weren't selfish at all! You were right; I should've paid more attention to you. You were also looking out for my health too, right?"

You pause and give a wry smile, "Are we really going to argue about this when we're both trying to apologize already?"

Zen chuckles softly as he brings his forehead to rest against yours, his hands still cupping your cheeks. "...I don't want to argue anymore. I don't want to stay away from you for any longer. I want you back in my arms. In _our_ home. Please forgive me..."

"Only if you forgive me too," you reply, your eyes glossy as you try to hold back your tears. Zen nods his head against yours, his eyes showing so much sincerity, prompting you to continue, "then I forgive you too. ...I love you."

"I love you too," Zen whispers against your lips before firmly pressing his own against them.

You're a bit startled at how desperate the kiss is at first before remembering that Zen always laid bare his emotions like this, and you soon find yourself returning the kiss with just as much vigor, tightly grasping the actor's shirt. The two of you pull apart, staring at each other, trying to convey your emotions with just your eyes alone, and the two of you laugh. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation as a whole but nevertheless appreciate the things you've learned from it. Your heart swells from hearing Zen's laughter; his happiness was so contagious. Unbeknownst to you, Zen felt the same way towards you and your joy. The two of you continue to share each other's laughter, basking in the other's presence. Zen's hands have moved to one holding you by the waist and the other stroking your hair. You in turn have moved to holding his forearm with one hand and stroking his cheek with the other.

"Thank you for always looking out for me and for being so patient with me and my career," Zen sighs blissfully. It's been way too long since he's felt this happy and relieved. A part of him still has a bitter feeling from the argument, and he has no doubt that you do too, but the love he feels for you is much stronger and easily overpowers it.

"Of course. Because I love you," you respond without missing a beat.

Zen laughs at that and kisses you again with just as much passion as the previous one, "I'm so glad to have you back."

"Not yet; I still have to get my stuff from Hyeon's place," you remind him, and he groans theatrically.

"Can I come with you?" Zen asks.

Your lips curve into a teasing smile, "Why? Jealous?"

A moment later, you shriek when you're literally swept off your feet and Zen is carrying you in his arms as he twirls the both of you around, his laughter chasing away all the awkwardness that was previously there. "You're too cute," Zen grins at you once he's finally stopped twirling, refusing to answer your question.

The actor is still holding you up by your waist, leaning back slightly so that he could remain supporting you as you hold his shoulders and lightly rub both of your noses together, "Not as cute as you when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous," Zen insists as finally lets you down on the ground, but he still refuses to let go. He doesn't care if he'll be seen as clingy because he wants to make up for all the times he's left you alone, even from way before you proposed the idea of needing some space from each other. He understands that maybe it won't fully chase away those lingering negative emotions you might still have for him from the way he had treated you as well as the words and accusations he had thrown your way, but it's a start, and he's willing to work just as hard as in his career for it.

"Are you _sure_ you're not jealous?" you continue to tease your boyfriend, appreciative that the two of you could joke around like this again. It felt so natural that you almost couldn't believe the two of you had a fight in the first place.

"I'm not," Zen responds suddenly becoming serious, "I want to thank him for looking after you when I couldn't. You didn't deserve any of what I did or said to you."

"Neither of us deserved what the other said," you sigh, moving to lace your fingers together with Zen's. "But it's okay now. I just...I don't doubt that in the future we'll have other big arguments like this, but I want you to understand that it's because I love you. If I didn't care for you, I wouldn't even bother getting angry..."

"I feel the same way," Zen answers, bringing your interlaced hands up to his lips so that he could kiss your fingers.

You rush forward, surprising the young man when you suddenly envelop him in a tight embrace, but he quickly returns it, all the while whispering words of love and gratitude and promises in your ears. The two of you remain like that for a while longer until you're interrupted by a buzz from your phone. You take it out, quickly reading over the text message that was sent to you from Hyeon before bursting out laughing. When you see Zen's confused and curious expression, you share the screen and message with him.

 _"I forgot to ask, but if you and_ the _Zen end up making up with each other, do you think you could ask for an autograph from him for me? Consider it your payment for allowing you to stay over."_

"Now you know how you could thank him," you smile as you put your phone away. You go to hold onto Zen's hand but decide that it wasn't enough, so you link your arms together instead as you start guiding the two of you back towards Hyeon's place.

Zen laughs and quickly matches his steps to yours, "Now I just need to figure out how to thank _you_ for being the best girlfriend ever."

"Mm, I'm sure you can figure something out. You _are_ the best boyfriend ever after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You and Zen are so cringe-worthy, ahhhh-- Still debating if I wanna do a sort of epiloge for this or not, but for now, it's marked as complete!  
> A _huge_ thank you to all who left kudos, comments, and/or bookmarks! Please check out my dA and Tumblr (both "avistella") for more reader inserts if you're interested! I sometimes open reader insert requests there too for those who might want to leave a request.  
>  Also, please do check out my other Zen reader insert, [Dream Come True](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8638201/chapters/19809511) where you guys can decide on how the story will progress.


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